Happy Mental Health Day! Rant.

Happy Mental Health Day!

Never thought I'd say this, but it's totally a thing! As I get older I become to realize that it is incredibly important to take care of your health mentally. Everyone has their issues and their own demons, including myself, and sometimes it is incredibly difficult to recognize it. Some folks tend to brush it off like it's no big deal (I'm guilty of this) and some are too stubborn to understand (also guilty). It wasn't really until last year - towards the end of the year - that I realized that I needed to take care of myself more. If you read my last post I mentioned this - my self care.

One of the things I used to beat myself up about was my lost of friends. I don't mean they physically died - but the relationship died. For no reason! Not for any reasons I'm aware of anyway. I lost a couple or so of really good friends from 2011 and it always bothered me. It really sucked because I thought these people were going to be a part of the rest of my life. Now I'm fully aware that people move on with their lives; they have different goals, aspirations, priorities, and/or they are just in different places in their lives- which includes myself. What I had a hard time was grasping that it just ended so abruptly - it didn't feel like it slowly faded away. It just went away with unanswered questions I had - and had actually asked (for some- they didn't answer, they just ghosted me. Fckd up, I know). I'd beat myself up mentally about this where I just became angry and bitter which obviously is terrible. 

As I get older I appreciate the new friendships I've formed from the past four to six years. I've met people who have the same goals and appreciation for the same type of friendship I look for. I'm thankful for those who are a part of my life and who help me grow to be a better person. My thoughts still tend to linger sometimes when FB memories show up (I should turn this off) and I get back to that state of bitterness.. Honestly I feel the best way to put it behind me is to understand that those friends were a part of me when I was in my early 20's - I was a different person. As I finally started understanding myself in my mid/late 20's - maybe they didn't understand and bailed..? Who knows because they'll never tell me. 

I really don't know what I'm trying to say in this rant, but if you ever feel like you are losing friends and you have no idea why - you're not alone. It sucks, but don't beat yourself up over it. Stress is a choice, so choose not to be stress about it lol (I know, easier said than done. Been there). People who were in your life who chose not to  support your growth as a person is not worth your time and energy. People just tend to move on and sometimes there aren't any reasons why. My point is to look out for yourself because you should be your own priority and to celebrate the friendships who truly care about you. Keep yourself sane - mental health! Do you!

Blah blah blah - the ending became a bit aggressive.. super aware.. lol.. ugh IDK.